The Heart of it All (mid-season reflections)…

From June 20, 2010– A sunny, breezy Sunday in the Berkshires.  A week away from my birthday.  I took a walk into town today… grabbed my backpack and my headphones and felt like I was in Hawaii again.  I almost forgot I could walk to places here – I’m already used to jumping in my car and getting to where I need to go – it’s funny how fast that happens.  The air is warm and the breeze feels tender.  The shade engulfs me and I feel content.  I’m going to the store to buy filtered water so I can start my kombucha tea now that my scoby’s are ready.  I can’t wait.  It’s also Father’s Day but in my mind what day isn’t Father’s Day?  I know I think about my Dad a lot of times throughout the course of one day.  He is a great man whom I look up to a lot.  I feel his passion and love running through my very own veins.  I miss him and I know he misses me because he tells me so – I can hear it in his voice.  Growth, proximity, change – these are all things that don’t get any easier as we grow old – in fact they might get harder.  Of course our capacity to live and let go becomes greater but I wouldn’t say it gets any easier.  I know for one that I feel with all that I’ve got.  I’m touched and fully aware and in love with everything around me so it makes it harder to let go but in my opinion it’s worth it because you put your heart into it and that’s all there is…

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I’m putting my heart in FGF – working like crazy- 6 days a week for 10 hours a day and trying to find a balance.  In Hawaii I had the perfect amount of time to myself but here a lot more of my time is required at the farm and making me wonder if I’d want to have a farm solely for distribution someday…. probably not… well, at least not anything too large scale.  I’m thinking maybe a small CSA but a homestead is definitely something I want to have – with workshops for the community and programs for kids to teach what I know and to watch those flowers grow. 

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The farm is a great learning experience though – seeding, planting, growing, selling, distributing, CSA-ing, harvesting and getting dirty.   Most recently, I’ve been running the CSA pick up on Saturdays and I think it is a very important part of the process to do.  A moment where gratitude and clarity wash over you, where a connection is made and there is a voice attached to all your hard work.  The people make the place even if (farmers included) they all come for the veggies and the fruits of labor we know in our hearts there is more to it than that.  Putting a face and energy with where your food is coming from connects you to the place  creating that sense of community so vital to all our lives.  I get to ask them all if they’ve enjoyed their share, if they were able to eat it all and what they did with their bounty that week.  Talking with the CSA members reminds me that I don’t believe there’s anywhere else I’d rather be.

photos taken by the lovely, Sara Wallach

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